How easy life would be if I could just remember never to speak in negative terms. As I was washing the dishes my little bear asked if I could help her pick up her toys. Silly me says "No. I can't. I have to wash the dishes". This caused a 2 minute out of control, body flailing, high pitched wailing fit! Then I said, " If you want my help you will have to wait until I'm done with the dishes!" She stood up, wiped the tears with the back of her hands and said "Can I just do it myself , mama?" Absolutely!
Personal research on parenting rule#4: Keep it positive!